man, its almost end of june already...its so stressing seeing everyone come back from colleges.  i can't wait to go to school in september, or rather, end of august.  i look forward to moving to chicago, but at the same time, i'm kinda scared moving there since i don't know anyone from chicago... i hope the school's going to be okay... i was kinda disappointed when i saw the school...i can't help myself from comparing the school from all the other schools i got into and stuff... which i should not be doing... but hey, i can't help it. this past year has been extremely frustrating, mostly because i deferred my admission to ucla, and took most of the year off.  knowing that everyone i know are at schools having great time, i just felt like i was missing out on a lot of stuff. and dealing with all those stupid people constantly asking me "are you in school?"  "did you even get into a college?" and telling me that i'm "crazy" and "insane" because i'm giving up a UC for some unknown private school was not what i would exactly call fun.  and its not like i dont want to go to UCLA with all those scholarship offers... i would love to go there, and my friends who went there are having such a great time that it makes me so jealous...they make me want to pack my stuff and move there.  i'm choosing to go to a school with a smaller name, because i want to study with a specific professor... but i do feel kinda insecure, and not sure of myself, since like most people, i want to go to a school with a big name, and you'll just feel more secure about your future that way i guess. goshes.. i don't know... i seriously hope everything works out well...